Each time I pass by the meat chop I see if /he/ is there. Most of the time, he isn't. Sometimes he is. This is not okay. I can't be like a little teen girl just crushing on some boy like that um......... why do I even entertain this? Because the thought keeps popping in my mind. It's an old bad habit I have. I just _have_ to have someone like that to think about, don't I?
That is the problem. I just can't help it, why do I think so much about this? Maybe it's just a way to distract myself, to release some dopamine, idk. Maybe I'm just looking for some sensual pleasure.
um...